The First Generation Healers program is a practical, mind body coaching program for Adult Children of Asian Immigrants, who want to heal from toxic work relationships, while embracing new patterns of self-care and identity.
Are you able to show up to your job as the best version of yourself?
When you're concerned about bullying or being mistreated, you can't serve yourself or others well. Create a communication strategy that aligns with your core values and helps you take care of yourself.
First, you need to:
1 / Understand your triggers
Find out what (in your past) sends your body into fight/flight/freeze/fawn mode. They might be (real or imagined) judgment, blame, shame or other people's bad moods. This is helpful to understanding that there is nothing wrong with you, but you are responding to being wronged.
2 / See that you are made of different inner parts: an inner Child and an Adult
Your inner child has core beliefs, reactions, automatic choices and predictable stuck behavior. Your inner adult is safe, nurturing, connected and secure. Recognizing that your inner child and inner adult are two separate people will bring you hope. Hope that you inner child doesn't have to run your life forever.
3 / Observe how your past affects your present
Past dysfunctions in the family lead to present day programmed behavior and core beliefs. Connecting them will be foundational to life change.
So you can...
Allow your inner Adult to take up space
When your inner nurturing parent comes online, they can protect you by drawing/enforcing boundaries, speaking the truth, or help you leave a dangerous situation.
Make an impact
You used to like your job and you were initially drawn to it because it offered you meaning. Now, you get to actually invest in professional development versus spending your time worrying about toxic workplace relationships.
Be less angry and stressed so you can spend your time....
Cooking nourishing meals on the daily, spend time with friends that treat you well, enjoy more free time with your kids, and re-kindle your romantic relationships. Maybe even take a vacation.
Focus on your health
The chronic stress of bullying and mistreatment means that your health has taken a back seat. Now you have the time and capacity to move your body, eat yummy meals and spend time on your mental health and well being.
TRUTH BOMB: You want to stop being bullied, and badly!
But your efforts thus far haven’t helped you get there.
You want to be treated with dignity, respect and humanity.
You want to live life on your own terms, but you are burned out from saying "yes" to others, and your lack of boundaries gets in the way of you focusing on your self care.
You are a high-achieving Adult Child of an Asian Immigrant who knows how to excel at work and what it means to win professionally, but no matter how much you work at it… you still somehow find yourself in situations where you are mistreated and taken advantage of. People at work see you as someone who can get it done and you believe that if you just work harder, it will all get better.
Giving up sounds tempting when it looks like NOTHING will work. You've pretended to be okay for far too long. You even fantasize about getting sick so you can call our sick and just have a break from all the workplace nonsense. But the thing is... you’re COMMITTED to making this "forging your own path" happen -- and cracking the code on work-life balance. It is time for you to show up for yourself. You deserve RESPECT, DIGNITY, and KINDNESS.
You’ve already tried…
Reading self help books or podcasts about how to be a better ____ (fill in the black with whatever you believe you're lacking).
avoiding phone calls and interactions with your colleagues.
following all the unwritten family/social rules, but not getting anything in return
working from home so you can get some space from the drama at work
working super hard in hopes that your manager will be less hard on you
complained to HR about the dysfunction in your team, but they've been unresponsive
It’s frustrating and demoralizing to feel like you’ve tried (or at least considered) it all, and to be honest you’re TIRED and ready for a different way.
Real talk: the reason those things haven't worked for you is that self sacrificing patterns requires deep inner transformation. Change starts from the inside
We've seen clients struggle with self sacrifice over and over again, which is why we created The First Generation Healers program.First Generation Healers
With this program, we've helped clients do the internal work to get rid of old narratives and write a new story for their lives by establishing and maintaining boundaries, prioritize their self care without feeling guilty for thriving.
If you’re truly ready to create a life that you love, The First Generation Healers program was designed specifically to help you get there.
Our approach is different than rationalizing/repressing our "bad" feelings away because it is a holistic movement that takes into consideration your mind and body. We recognize that if we were to create a life that you love, it would require a daily commitment to small, sustainable actions that lead to lasting change.
Over your 3 months working through The First Generation Healers program, we will focus on the following areas and goals:
1) Objective #1-"Awareness"-
You will have an accurate understanding about your triggers and how they relate to the different roles that you have inside: your adult self and your child parts. Your adult self is an expert about the present and the child part of you is an expert about your past. You will become more aware of how the events in your childhood massively influence your inner child's core beliefs, reactions, problematic stuck behaviors, and attachment styles.
2) Objective #2- "Adoption"
The main goal is to become a healthy surrogate to your inner child. As a healthy surrogate, you spend time warming up to your inner child, helping them release their childhood emotions, while being a safe and nurturing parent figure. You help your inner child connect the past to the present with observing similar behaviors, core beliefs and attachment styles.
3) Objective #3- "Allocation"-
Your adult self is able to separate the past from the present in a very clear way. Your adult self is able to concretely describe how the present is very different and that you have tools and resources that you didn't as a child. Your adult self can show up for you in a way that no caregiver could in the past: by validating you, protecting you, holding others accountable, drawing/enforcing boundaries and speaking the truth.
The First Generation Healers program seeks Adult Children of Asian Immigrants applicants with specific criteria
The fact is -- we can only accept a limited number of participants at any given time -- and (because of our guarantee below) we only work with those who are qualified and ready to show up, do the work, and focus to achieve the objectives of the program.
Because of this, it’s imperative that every participant is truly ready for this level of growth -- for creating a life that they love -- and has the attitude and drive to make the most of their time in The First Generation Healers program to get there!
It is truly exciting to support Adult Children of Asian Immigrants heal from toxic work relationships, but we must make sure you are qualified (and ready) before we commit to working with you in this program.
Here's what we are looking for, and how to know if The First Generation Healers program is right for you:
This group coaching program is for you if...
1 / You desire to not allow bullying or mistreatment in your workplace (or anywhere) anymore. You know it's possible, but need a plan for how to do so with integrity and care.
2 / You feel confident in your professional skills when it comes to your job, you are not entry level, but mid-level and have been working for at least 3-5 years in your field.
3 / You identify more with duty and responsibility rather than tending to your own needs
4 / You are willing to explore how your childhood environment and family dynamics are connected to your current behavior of allowing mistreatment. You are ready to become a detective and do some digging into your past, even if it might be painful.
5 / You see that your patterns for allowing mistreatment/bullying might continue beyond this toxic workplace, if you do not address the underlying root causes. You are ready to address the underlying root causes so that you don't repeat these patterns or unknowingly pass down these patterns to future generations.
6 / You are willing to take up space and take personal accountability. You understand that even with a life coach, you're responsible for your results. You ask questions frequently, are comfortable learning in front of others and don't take coaching lessons personally. You understand that personal development is a process, not a destination.
This group may not be for you if...
1 / You don't put in the work outside of our sessions to invest in yourself.
2 / You want a quick fix and expect things to change right away. This group coaching program is the starting point to creating the life you love.
3 / You want us to fix you or do the work for you.
4 /Prefer to learn on your own than learn and receive support publicly inside of a supportive and curated community of people who are learning the same skills.
5 / You need help with mental health diagnosis, treatment or evaluation. Even though I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, I cannot provide mental health services in the coaching context.
6 / You are currently experiencing physical/sexual violence in your relationship. We don't have the resources to navigate relationships with domestic violence and abuse. Please contact 1800-799-SAFE if you are experiencing physical/sexual violence.
7 / You are actively struggling with suicidal ideation and are not working with a mental health therapist. We do not have the resources to navigate the day to day care involved in creating safety for those struggling with suicide. If you are struggling, please call 800-273-TALK
8 / You are looking for someone to show up for you in court as you are in the middle or about to start litigations with an organization that has mistreated you.
9 / You want to be rescued and coddled. If you struggle to take accountability for your actions, complain about doing thew or you signed up for, or expect others to make decisions in your workplace, we're not a good fit.
How we'll work together through The First Generation Healers Program
The format of The First Generation Healers is what makes it truly unique and helps you achieve results that were previously not possible. Rest assured the format is the right mix of:
Proven Curriculum: our curriculum is structured like a recipe, building you on what to do and in what order, with module-specific tasks to practice what you've learned.
Small Group Coaching:
3x a month, we'll meet as a small group (over zoom) to go over the framework, process, and any questions you might have. Each call will be about 1.5-2 hours during the week (M-Thursday). If you miss any calls, a recording will be available for you to view at a later time.
1x a month, we will meet for questions and answers. Each call will be about 1 hour.
In addition, there will be a kick-off call and closing celebration.
Private 1:1 coaching:
You will also receive 2 private coaching calls throughout our 3 months to make sure you are getting all the personal attention and feedback you need.
Intimate Community- You will be surrounded by other adult children of Asian immigrants just like you, who are also experiencing bullying in the workplace--- with similar goals to yours. There will be no shaming or judgment about how you got here and the toxic mistreatment you are experiencing.
Inside of this members only Facebook group, you'll be able to help track one another's progress, support each other through challenges and wins, and keep your drive high! Because we are so selective about who is allowed into the program, rest assured, this is a highly curated community so get excited to meet everyone!
The Biggest Outcomes of The First Generation Healers program:
Know how you can protect yourself from other people’s feelings and moods without taking them on personally
Feel empowered to respond, not react, by shutting down or people pleasing, to stressful people.
Not allowing others to control/manipulate you with threats, intimidation, rage, guilt/shame or abuse.
Take up space by assertively communicating, drawing/enforcing boundaries, holding others accountable or finding an exit strategy.
We are 100% committed to helping you create the life you love.
That said, you might still have hesitations about whether what you’re reading on this page is truly possible for you and if The First Generation Healers program is the best choice to get you there. Here’s the deal: The first Generation Healers program is an elite option and the investment reflects that. That might make you question if it’s really “worth it,” and I get that.
So in case you are still hesitating to apply, here’s a guarantee that you can bank on:
I am willing to promise you that if you participate in all of the calls, implement all of the work, and do not seeing yourself love one aspect of your life more and seeing yourself as the person in charge of your life as a result of The First Generation Healers program, then I will give you your money back.
If you’re truly ready to curate the life that you love and willing to do the work to get there with the guidance and support of The First Generation Healers program, there is absolutely no reason NOT to apply today.
You have the ability to not allow bullying in your life and prioritize your health and well being first.
You're here reading this page because you're an Adult Child of Asian Immigrants who is SO done with...
Living a life solely based on obligation. You go above and beyond at work and in your personal life because you feel responsible for everything.
Feeling incredibly uncomfortable saying "no"
Trying, reading, learning, and consuming EVERYTHING, like self-help books, articles and even another online course, yet still feeling really exhausted and guilty.
Being so focused on "saying yes to everyone" that you're worried you'll never figure it out. Maybe waiting is the answer. Spoiler: it's not.
Putting your desires on the back burner for so long that you don't even remember what you truly want anymore.
You’re tired of wasting time, money, and energy on methods that give you ZERO results.
You’re ready for REAL answers. REAL support. REAL community.
This is why you're the perfect candidate for The First Generation Healers Program
You are here reading this page because you're someone who is SO done with:
Deferring your dreams because of parental guilt
Spending hours and hours going above and beyond at work, but not being competitively compensated or promoted.
being the on-call crisis support person for your family and friends but not having the time to work on your goals.
settling for second best in every area-- health, work, intimacy.
reading and listening to so many podcasts about building a balanced life, yet still feeling overwhelmed and undeserving.
You know what happens when you finally start curating the life you want?
You wake up every morning EXCITED to tackle any problem at work, because you have clarity in your priorities. What you spend time on is aligned with your core values.
You want to have clarity on your emotional triggers and know how to get your "zen" back. Picture yourself moving the day being more calm and less irritated/frustrated.
You know how to get out of burnout. You have more capacity now that you’re not STRESSING about burnout. You have more time and capacity to give to your partner, your kids and yourself. Your focus will be shifted to your inner wisdom instead of outwardly focused on others. You will find yourself feeling more of a sense of agency and control over your own decisions.
About The First Generation Healers Program
At The UnBurnout Strategy, our mission is close the racial wealth gap among by training professionals to create a sustainable and peaceful internal environment for them to excel. A belief that our authentic selves possess an inner wisdom or intuitiveness far beyond what the oppressive systems around us gives us credit for. We, as gentle parents to ourselves, can act as guides and facilitators, helping ourselves connect with that inner wisdom. The underlying driving force behind this program is simple but not easy: liberation. We acknowledge the white supremacist, patriarchal and capitalist systems that create the conditions that make our program necessary and understand that our personal awareness of how we are victimized and simultaneously benefit because of these systems is an important first step to liberation.
Adult children of Asian Immigrants, particularly South Asian Immigrants, are one of the lowest paid but highly trained and sought after professionals. This discrepancy leads to burn out and creates barriers to intergenerational wealth building.
We believe that if Adult Children of Asian Immigrants can take better care of themselves through self-advocacy, they can provide a higher quality of life for future generations. Win-win.
The First Generation Healers Program is founded and led by Mental Health Therapist turned coach, Angela Tam, MA, LMHC, whose known for their disruptive perspectives. After being in private practice for 10+ years in Washington State, working with Adult Children of Asian Immigrants on racial trauma and healing from emotional neglect, and healing from her own experience with racialized trauma as well as emotional neglect, she is starting to coach others on how to do the same.
Outside of her role as CEO and Lead Coach at The First Generation Healers Program, you can find her spending time decolonizing education through unschooling her 3 young children, moving her body in her home gym, cooking comforting foods from her ancestral homeland of China, and hanging out with other friends drinking boba and eating Pho.
Let us coach you out of living out of a sense of obligation
Results don’t happen by accident.
They happen because you have followed a system and process, taken the steps, done the work, and received the help necessary to get where you want to go. Period.
Unlike other digital DIY course, where you spend 99% of your time learning instead of executing, The First Generation Healers program keeps you 100% focused on action.
The First Generation Healers program is not about frolicking around and feeling good, it's about getting results.
In fact, you will experience moments of extreme discomfort. Not because it's hard, but because the method is so simple.
It's so simple, you'll try to overcomplicate it. Resist the urge, because breaking through doesn't have to be complicated.
If you’re ready to finally see those results you’ve been wanting, less of a sense of obligation, more confidence and clarity, let’s do this.
Apply for The First Generation Healers program
In The First Generation Healers program, you'll finally have more capacity, clarity and confidence.
Are you ready?
Unlike other online-based coaching programs, The First Generation Healers program does not start from a place of deficit coaching. We work with a strength based framework, celebrating your authenticity and equips you with the tools to maximize your magic.
The First Generation Healers program is different in its focus on your holistic well being (emotional, social, mental and physical wellness).
As a member of The First Generation Healers program, you will be not only be guided step-by-step through the content, but you will be supported, encouraged, motivated and held accountable. Coming out of living a life filled with obligations is a multi-faceted process that involves restructuring schedules, drawing boundaries, and bringing in trusted friends to help. There will be parts of you that will resist the change.... and very intensely!! That is why mutual support in a trusted community is so needed.
The best part is how absolutely do-able this will be, once you have the right framework and support in your corner.